It goes with the territory, but is not always appreciated or understood. It is particularly manifested in the relationship between bosses and workers, but it also occurs between co-workers. Oversensitivity seems to be a curse of the professional classes. Your expenses or a business trip or your Christmas holiday are not signed off, and you assume straight away that you are in some trouble at work.
A Harvard Business School professor on a course I attended in Boston summed this up well. He cited the example of a partner in a professional practice who in the morning walked quickly past one of their direct reports and did not acknowledge them in any way. The employee immediately assumed the worst and that they were not in their boss’s good graces for some reason and maybe were about to be fired. In reality the boss was just distracted by a difficult meeting they were going to and did not think about the employee.
The difficulty with these “misunderstandings” is that they have the potential to damage working relationship in a way that may ultimately not be good for a professional practice. Mistrust builds up over time and can manifest itself in poor performance or ultimately a valued worker leaving. Both parties have lessons to learn here. The boss should maybe acknowledge their employee even if it is with a quick “Good Morning” or a handshake (very common in France when workers first greet each other as the working day starts). The employee should perhaps be aware that they are not the centre of the universe, their boss will have more on their mind and it is unlikely that a trivial omission means anything serious. Ultimately both can exhibit greater empathy to their mutual advantage.
What does help I think is greater awareness of this tendency of particularly professionals to overreact to perceived slights however unintended.
There is even “Sensitivity Training” available now - The underlying idea behind sensitivity training is developing respect for each person as an equal and as a human being. Just as we have wants and needs, so do the others around us. And just as we want people to show respect to our feelings and ways of living, so too must we show respect to others.
The key in everyday behaviour is probably just about showing “respect” for other workers whether bosses or co-workers. This Harvard Business Review Article in 2018 said When you ask workers what matters most to them, feeling respected by superiors often tops the list. In a recent survey by Georgetown University’s Christine Porath of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide, respondents ranked respect as the most important leadership behavior.
Albert Einstein got it right when he said I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.
I also like Winston Churchill’s rather enigmatic quote about respect “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
And it is very easy to overlook how easy it is as a manager to inadvertently give an employee the wrong impression, not perhaps recognising quite how much in a position of influence you are – and how truly simple it can be to acknowledge a colleague in a positive way maybe even just by a smile!
As Dale Carnegie counsels in How to Win Friends and Influence People Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you‘.
A Harvard Business School professor on a course I attended in Boston summed this up well. He cited the example of a partner in a professional practice who in the morning walked quickly past one of their direct reports and did not acknowledge them in any way. The employee immediately assumed the worst and that they were not in their boss’s good graces for some reason and maybe were about to be fired. In reality the boss was just distracted by a difficult meeting they were going to and did not think about the employee.
The difficulty with these “misunderstandings” is that they have the potential to damage working relationship in a way that may ultimately not be good for a professional practice. Mistrust builds up over time and can manifest itself in poor performance or ultimately a valued worker leaving. Both parties have lessons to learn here. The boss should maybe acknowledge their employee even if it is with a quick “Good Morning” or a handshake (very common in France when workers first greet each other as the working day starts). The employee should perhaps be aware that they are not the centre of the universe, their boss will have more on their mind and it is unlikely that a trivial omission means anything serious. Ultimately both can exhibit greater empathy to their mutual advantage.
What does help I think is greater awareness of this tendency of particularly professionals to overreact to perceived slights however unintended.
There is even “Sensitivity Training” available now - The underlying idea behind sensitivity training is developing respect for each person as an equal and as a human being. Just as we have wants and needs, so do the others around us. And just as we want people to show respect to our feelings and ways of living, so too must we show respect to others.
The key in everyday behaviour is probably just about showing “respect” for other workers whether bosses or co-workers. This Harvard Business Review Article in 2018 said When you ask workers what matters most to them, feeling respected by superiors often tops the list. In a recent survey by Georgetown University’s Christine Porath of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide, respondents ranked respect as the most important leadership behavior.
Albert Einstein got it right when he said I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.
I also like Winston Churchill’s rather enigmatic quote about respect “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
And it is very easy to overlook how easy it is as a manager to inadvertently give an employee the wrong impression, not perhaps recognising quite how much in a position of influence you are – and how truly simple it can be to acknowledge a colleague in a positive way maybe even just by a smile!
As Dale Carnegie counsels in How to Win Friends and Influence People Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you‘.
RSS Feed
