I have just finished reading a book that has been on my to read list for ages – Never Split the Difference. Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on it by Chris Voss. The author is a former FBI hostage negotiator who brings a different perspective to that staple activity of most of our professional lives in one way shape or form – the art of negotiation. It’s fascinating because he anchors the topic by reference to real life negotiations in most of which it was not just a question of how much you pay or what you receive in return, hostages lives were at stake. In this context he explains various techniques to understand and put yourself in the shoes of the other side, understanding their motivation at a deep psychological level and then exploiting this in the negotiation. He writes about how to:
I have never negotiated a hostage situation and never want to, but the approach and issues resonate with my experience over many years of contract negotiation. Whatever side you are on negotiations should start well before the actual event with detailed preparation. I acted for a large public sector buyer of technology with a team leader who put this into practice. We met in person several times beforehand to role play what might occur in the actual negotiations and how the other side was motivated and likely to act in the negotiation room. We posted flip chart pages around the walls on how to approach and succeed in the negotiation, including trying to work out how the people who we were negotiating with might behave. So, if we were dealing with a partner or senior lawyer, for example, we could anticipate that they really knew their subject matter and might prove to be more flexible because they would know what they could concede and what to stand firm on. A more junior lawyer could be fearful of making constructive concessions because they were concerned about conceding anything at all. In this case it really helps to have the right people in the room, or at least to have access to them.
By contrast if in our preparation we determined to take a particular stance on an important issue we also obtained buy in from our client’s sponsoring executive prior to the negotiation. This helps to counter the tactic of the other team trying to go behind your back to appeal to senior management in your organisation. If they do this and you are aligned, then a response confirming your position can be really helpful. If not chaos can ensue and your negotiating strategy undermined by some senior intervention. This early involvement of senior colleagues also assists in the final governance process most businesses have to go through before they can sign up to a particular deal.
Even then surprising revelations of fundamental issues driving the other negotiating party can derail the discussions and upset your carefully prepared approach. On one deal we got through almost a full day of negotiation with the other side refusing to budge on any financial matters at all. Then they finally showed their hand and revealed their “Black Swan”: their company was in such dire financial straits that unless we fundamentally renegotiated the deal we were discussing they would have to file for bankruptcy. This would have caused major problems for our client because they had no alternative technology they could use. We called a lengthy time out (another useful strategy) in order to formulate a revised approach.
I also just finished reading (it’s only 32 pages) Sun Tzu’s The Art of War written around 500 B.C. in China which has been used by modern generals for tactical insights. See this blog The Art of War & Negotiation which draws twelve lessons relevant to negotiation from the ancient military strategy book including:
These pre and post meeting chats can allow you to assess the state of mind of the other side and what their emotional approach may be in the meeting. A refusal to engage in any side bar conversations, arriving on time or late and starting the formal meeting straight away or rushing off at the end is not a good sign. People who behave like this may also be terse or even aggressive in the meeting. See this Harvard Business Review article Emotion and the Art of Negotiation which examines the impact of anger on a negotiation observing “Bringing anger to a negotiation is like throwing a bomb into the process, and it’s apt to have a profound effect on the outcome”. It discusses the impact of other emotions including anxiety which is generally not positive and the impact of showing emotions in a meeting. It observes “The best negotiators achieve great deals for themselves but leave their opponents believing that they, too, did fabulously, even if the truth is different.” and concludes that it is helpful to manage emotions in a meeting – “To be a better deal maker, conduct a thorough assessment of which emotions you are particularly prone to feel before, during, and after negotiations, and use techniques to minimize (or maximize) the experience and suppress (or emphasize) the expression of emotions as needed.”
See also this Forbes article The Art Of Negotiation: 15 Tips For Business Leaders To Master which include:
“Humour and humanity are the best way to break the ice and remove roadblocks.”
While Sun Tzu observed “Those skilled in war subdue the enemy’s army without battle. They capture his cities without assaulting them and overthrow his state without protracted operations.”
- Quickly Establish Rapport
- Create Trust with Tactical Empathy
- Shape What is Fair
I have never negotiated a hostage situation and never want to, but the approach and issues resonate with my experience over many years of contract negotiation. Whatever side you are on negotiations should start well before the actual event with detailed preparation. I acted for a large public sector buyer of technology with a team leader who put this into practice. We met in person several times beforehand to role play what might occur in the actual negotiations and how the other side was motivated and likely to act in the negotiation room. We posted flip chart pages around the walls on how to approach and succeed in the negotiation, including trying to work out how the people who we were negotiating with might behave. So, if we were dealing with a partner or senior lawyer, for example, we could anticipate that they really knew their subject matter and might prove to be more flexible because they would know what they could concede and what to stand firm on. A more junior lawyer could be fearful of making constructive concessions because they were concerned about conceding anything at all. In this case it really helps to have the right people in the room, or at least to have access to them.
By contrast if in our preparation we determined to take a particular stance on an important issue we also obtained buy in from our client’s sponsoring executive prior to the negotiation. This helps to counter the tactic of the other team trying to go behind your back to appeal to senior management in your organisation. If they do this and you are aligned, then a response confirming your position can be really helpful. If not chaos can ensue and your negotiating strategy undermined by some senior intervention. This early involvement of senior colleagues also assists in the final governance process most businesses have to go through before they can sign up to a particular deal.
Even then surprising revelations of fundamental issues driving the other negotiating party can derail the discussions and upset your carefully prepared approach. On one deal we got through almost a full day of negotiation with the other side refusing to budge on any financial matters at all. Then they finally showed their hand and revealed their “Black Swan”: their company was in such dire financial straits that unless we fundamentally renegotiated the deal we were discussing they would have to file for bankruptcy. This would have caused major problems for our client because they had no alternative technology they could use. We called a lengthy time out (another useful strategy) in order to formulate a revised approach.
I also just finished reading (it’s only 32 pages) Sun Tzu’s The Art of War written around 500 B.C. in China which has been used by modern generals for tactical insights. See this blog The Art of War & Negotiation which draws twelve lessons relevant to negotiation from the ancient military strategy book including:
- “He whose ranks are united in purpose will be victorious.”
- “Know the enemy and know yourself.”
- “Generally, he who occupies the field of battle first and awaits his enemy is at ease; he who comes later to the scene and rushes into the fight is weary.”
These pre and post meeting chats can allow you to assess the state of mind of the other side and what their emotional approach may be in the meeting. A refusal to engage in any side bar conversations, arriving on time or late and starting the formal meeting straight away or rushing off at the end is not a good sign. People who behave like this may also be terse or even aggressive in the meeting. See this Harvard Business Review article Emotion and the Art of Negotiation which examines the impact of anger on a negotiation observing “Bringing anger to a negotiation is like throwing a bomb into the process, and it’s apt to have a profound effect on the outcome”. It discusses the impact of other emotions including anxiety which is generally not positive and the impact of showing emotions in a meeting. It observes “The best negotiators achieve great deals for themselves but leave their opponents believing that they, too, did fabulously, even if the truth is different.” and concludes that it is helpful to manage emotions in a meeting – “To be a better deal maker, conduct a thorough assessment of which emotions you are particularly prone to feel before, during, and after negotiations, and use techniques to minimize (or maximize) the experience and suppress (or emphasize) the expression of emotions as needed.”
See also this Forbes article The Art Of Negotiation: 15 Tips For Business Leaders To Master which include:
- Align Stakeholder Success With Your Own
- Deliver More Beyond Short-Term Needs
- Start From A Place Of Empathy
- Develop A Flexible Mindset
- Ask Questions To Produce More Details
“Humour and humanity are the best way to break the ice and remove roadblocks.”
While Sun Tzu observed “Those skilled in war subdue the enemy’s army without battle. They capture his cities without assaulting them and overthrow his state without protracted operations.”
RSS Feed
