In the Brothers Grimm fairy tale the evil queen asks: Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who in this land is fairest of all?
I have had a busy and varied week of meetings - workshops, internal meetings and customer negotiations. All have been different and my role has varied, sometimes leading and sometimes supporting. Some were easy others quite difficult.
One thing that struck me thinking back on the week is how hard it is to know how I came across to others in those meetings. To see yourself as it were in the mirror. It may be as a good and constructive contributor or an awkward and difficult person.
And especially in England, where we are rather reserved, nobody tells you - good or bad - and you can't always keep asking for feedback - people will think you a bit narcissistic. Many years ago, I was made a fire officer and had to make a short presentation to the rest of the European legal department of the global oil company I worked for. Afterwards a senior American lawyer thanked me and said I had a talent for presenting, which I had never realised and was then able to use and improve.
So how can we all be more aware of how we come across in meetings? I remember sitting at the head of a long table in the dining room of a Scottish hunting lodge, which did have a mirror at the other end of the table so you could see yourself as the host of a formal dinner and what was going on. But that is not really possible in business meetings.
Here is an article with some practical advice including: Self-awareness is really about seeing yourself for all of the gifts you might not know you have, as well as the parts of you that aren’t perfect. And here is a second article that suggests: Self-awareness helps us discover our talents. It points us in a direction for growth, encourages us to learn, and aids us in assessing difficult situations.
I think that perhaps self-awareness is another of those attributes that can be developed, but only once its existence is recognised and acknowledged. I suspect we can all think of people who appear to be supremely unconscious of the effect they are having – by, for example, talking too much and not letting others get a word in edgeways.
And maybe this is a clue – look at others behaviour in meetings, good and bad, and consciously try to reflect the good and avoid the bad. As Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology, says: Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Who in this land is fairest of all?
I have had a busy and varied week of meetings - workshops, internal meetings and customer negotiations. All have been different and my role has varied, sometimes leading and sometimes supporting. Some were easy others quite difficult.
One thing that struck me thinking back on the week is how hard it is to know how I came across to others in those meetings. To see yourself as it were in the mirror. It may be as a good and constructive contributor or an awkward and difficult person.
And especially in England, where we are rather reserved, nobody tells you - good or bad - and you can't always keep asking for feedback - people will think you a bit narcissistic. Many years ago, I was made a fire officer and had to make a short presentation to the rest of the European legal department of the global oil company I worked for. Afterwards a senior American lawyer thanked me and said I had a talent for presenting, which I had never realised and was then able to use and improve.
So how can we all be more aware of how we come across in meetings? I remember sitting at the head of a long table in the dining room of a Scottish hunting lodge, which did have a mirror at the other end of the table so you could see yourself as the host of a formal dinner and what was going on. But that is not really possible in business meetings.
Here is an article with some practical advice including: Self-awareness is really about seeing yourself for all of the gifts you might not know you have, as well as the parts of you that aren’t perfect. And here is a second article that suggests: Self-awareness helps us discover our talents. It points us in a direction for growth, encourages us to learn, and aids us in assessing difficult situations.
I think that perhaps self-awareness is another of those attributes that can be developed, but only once its existence is recognised and acknowledged. I suspect we can all think of people who appear to be supremely unconscious of the effect they are having – by, for example, talking too much and not letting others get a word in edgeways.
And maybe this is a clue – look at others behaviour in meetings, good and bad, and consciously try to reflect the good and avoid the bad. As Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology, says: Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
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