I was driving with my son last week to play tennis (he won but I managed to get a few games) when he observed how impatient and generally badly behaved drivers were on the roads these days. I had been thinking something similar but thought maybe this was just down to a more senior prejudice. However, I do think on reflection it is more than this. My son said drivers hooted at him if he did not hurry away from a junction. I slowed down legitimately at a roundabout the other week because I knew drivers rushed around from the right. The guy (or girl) behind me drove very close in a large Range Rover and then aggressively sounded the horn. There seem to be three levels of reaction, sometimes used in combination – flashing lights (mild telling off), sounding the horn (more serious infringement) and finally the waved finger or V sign out of the window (go home and cease driving forthwith!). And I am also guilty – last week a driver in one of our local roads slowed down dramatically for no apparent reason and then turned left with no signal. Annoying but not really worthy of rebuke. To my shame I flashed my lights and hooted the horn.
Well so what you may say. What especially interests me is not just that this occurs, but why and the potential parallels and lessons for our professional world. AI suggests that “Road rage, a heightened state of anger and aggression behind the wheel, is often triggered by stressful situations, environmental factors, and perceived rudeness from other drivers. To avoid it, drivers should focus on staying calm, planning their routes, and avoiding aggressive behaviors like tailgating or honking unnecessarily.” There are clearly some behavioural reasons – see this article Psychology Behind Road Rage: Understanding and Mitigating Aggressive Driving Behavior which proposes that “road rage emerges from a convergence of psychological, emotional, and social factors.” and observes that “The pervasive culture of competitiveness and impatience on the road, coupled with a lack of effective coping mechanisms, exacerbates aggressive driving tendencies. Moreover, the influence of media and social norms can shape attitudes towards aggressive behaviour, further normalizing road rage.” It then proposes sensible coping mechanisms like breathing exercises and management of time.
All true but I believe these “road rage” incidents in our sophisticated, comfortable connected and air conditioned Twenty First century vehicles are the result of a more primitive reaction to circumstances. We don’t think – we just trigger a fight or flight response. AI again says “When drivers perceive a threat, their bodies release stress hormones, triggering this response and potentially leading to aggressive behaviors. Specifically, the "fight" aspect of the response, where the body prepares to confront a threat, can manifest as anger and aggression on the road.” See this article The Fight Response on the Road AKA Road Rage which says road rage “is caused by a cascade of physiological responses starting with messages from the hypothalamus which sends signals down the spinal cord and out into your body. These messages tell the adrenal glands to release large quantities of norepinephrine which results in increased alertness, arousal, and attention. It constricts blood vessels which prepares your body to respond by fighting or fleeing. During this acute stress response adrenaline and cortisol are also released into the blood stream, and this all happens about 100 times faster than it took you to read this sentence.”
This Harvard Medical School article Understanding the stress response explains “the "fight-or-flight" response … evolved as a survival mechanism, enabling people and other mammals to react quickly to life-threatening situations. The carefully orchestrated yet near-instantaneous sequence of hormonal changes and physiological responses helps someone to fight the threat off or flee to safety.” We are not consciously aware of these changes. “When someone experiences a stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This area of the brain functions like a command center, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or flee.” It
This is good if you want to instinctively jump out of the way of an oncoming car. It’s also beneficial in sport – my son serves very fast and I don’t have time to consciously think about a return if I have any chance of making it. However, being captive to this automatic trigger event may not be good in a work situation. In say a contract negotiation or some work interaction with a colleague this could cause us to act precipitously and without thought to the detriment of the deal or our professional relationships. Not because we consciously want to, but because we are just “reacting”, or rather in the circumstances “overreacting”. I found this article from the American Psychological Association Road rage, air rage and now 'desk rage' which carried out a survey and found “almost half of those surveyed said yelling and verbal abuse is common in their workplaces” commenting “Dubbed "desk rage" by the popular media--and known to psychologists as counterproductive or deviant workplace behavior--this behavior includes acts of aggression, hostility, rudeness and physical violence.”
The Harvard article suggests this sort of behaviour can result in chronic stress and proposes some ways to manage this including using relaxation techniques like deep breathing. I suggest on reflection that in both the road and work situations there are three potential ways to avoid unwanted if instinctive reactions.
1 Preparation
Well prior to the event recognise it may happen and be ready for it. Just before setting out on a journey in your car take a minute to reflect on how to behave in the quite likely situation that you or another road user will be triggered in this way. In planning a negotiation or performance review look for possible issues where a conflict may arise or personalities clash and consider workarounds to be applied on the day.
2 During the Journey or Negotiation
I took an advance motoring course a few years ago and the instructor suggested a technique that may help here. As you drive provide a spoken commentary on what is happening – “I am approaching a traffic light and slowing down having looked in my mirror etc”. Hard to do with a passenger or all the time, but used selectively it creates a more reflective state. In negotiations have regular time outs and review progress with your team looking out for potential conflict. Maybe have one of your colleagues who is not leading the discussions look out for such a situation developing.
3 At the Time
When the road or desk rage trigger occurs try and at least pause for a few seconds before reacting. This is really hard to do, but if you understand why from a physical perspective you or another road user or colleague is “seeing red” it can make it easier to rationalise this and put it in perspective. In a meeting if a conflict arises take a time out and go and have a coffee. Somehow in our world of Teams calls this seems harder than when you are in the room, but there is really no reason not to call a halt to proceedings and maybe go into virtual breakout sessions to diffuse the situation.
This and similar techniques can all help prevent and manage potentially difficult interactions which actually tend to work to our detriment.
As the Buddha said “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Well so what you may say. What especially interests me is not just that this occurs, but why and the potential parallels and lessons for our professional world. AI suggests that “Road rage, a heightened state of anger and aggression behind the wheel, is often triggered by stressful situations, environmental factors, and perceived rudeness from other drivers. To avoid it, drivers should focus on staying calm, planning their routes, and avoiding aggressive behaviors like tailgating or honking unnecessarily.” There are clearly some behavioural reasons – see this article Psychology Behind Road Rage: Understanding and Mitigating Aggressive Driving Behavior which proposes that “road rage emerges from a convergence of psychological, emotional, and social factors.” and observes that “The pervasive culture of competitiveness and impatience on the road, coupled with a lack of effective coping mechanisms, exacerbates aggressive driving tendencies. Moreover, the influence of media and social norms can shape attitudes towards aggressive behaviour, further normalizing road rage.” It then proposes sensible coping mechanisms like breathing exercises and management of time.
All true but I believe these “road rage” incidents in our sophisticated, comfortable connected and air conditioned Twenty First century vehicles are the result of a more primitive reaction to circumstances. We don’t think – we just trigger a fight or flight response. AI again says “When drivers perceive a threat, their bodies release stress hormones, triggering this response and potentially leading to aggressive behaviors. Specifically, the "fight" aspect of the response, where the body prepares to confront a threat, can manifest as anger and aggression on the road.” See this article The Fight Response on the Road AKA Road Rage which says road rage “is caused by a cascade of physiological responses starting with messages from the hypothalamus which sends signals down the spinal cord and out into your body. These messages tell the adrenal glands to release large quantities of norepinephrine which results in increased alertness, arousal, and attention. It constricts blood vessels which prepares your body to respond by fighting or fleeing. During this acute stress response adrenaline and cortisol are also released into the blood stream, and this all happens about 100 times faster than it took you to read this sentence.”
This Harvard Medical School article Understanding the stress response explains “the "fight-or-flight" response … evolved as a survival mechanism, enabling people and other mammals to react quickly to life-threatening situations. The carefully orchestrated yet near-instantaneous sequence of hormonal changes and physiological responses helps someone to fight the threat off or flee to safety.” We are not consciously aware of these changes. “When someone experiences a stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This area of the brain functions like a command center, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or flee.” It
This is good if you want to instinctively jump out of the way of an oncoming car. It’s also beneficial in sport – my son serves very fast and I don’t have time to consciously think about a return if I have any chance of making it. However, being captive to this automatic trigger event may not be good in a work situation. In say a contract negotiation or some work interaction with a colleague this could cause us to act precipitously and without thought to the detriment of the deal or our professional relationships. Not because we consciously want to, but because we are just “reacting”, or rather in the circumstances “overreacting”. I found this article from the American Psychological Association Road rage, air rage and now 'desk rage' which carried out a survey and found “almost half of those surveyed said yelling and verbal abuse is common in their workplaces” commenting “Dubbed "desk rage" by the popular media--and known to psychologists as counterproductive or deviant workplace behavior--this behavior includes acts of aggression, hostility, rudeness and physical violence.”
The Harvard article suggests this sort of behaviour can result in chronic stress and proposes some ways to manage this including using relaxation techniques like deep breathing. I suggest on reflection that in both the road and work situations there are three potential ways to avoid unwanted if instinctive reactions.
1 Preparation
Well prior to the event recognise it may happen and be ready for it. Just before setting out on a journey in your car take a minute to reflect on how to behave in the quite likely situation that you or another road user will be triggered in this way. In planning a negotiation or performance review look for possible issues where a conflict may arise or personalities clash and consider workarounds to be applied on the day.
2 During the Journey or Negotiation
I took an advance motoring course a few years ago and the instructor suggested a technique that may help here. As you drive provide a spoken commentary on what is happening – “I am approaching a traffic light and slowing down having looked in my mirror etc”. Hard to do with a passenger or all the time, but used selectively it creates a more reflective state. In negotiations have regular time outs and review progress with your team looking out for potential conflict. Maybe have one of your colleagues who is not leading the discussions look out for such a situation developing.
3 At the Time
When the road or desk rage trigger occurs try and at least pause for a few seconds before reacting. This is really hard to do, but if you understand why from a physical perspective you or another road user or colleague is “seeing red” it can make it easier to rationalise this and put it in perspective. In a meeting if a conflict arises take a time out and go and have a coffee. Somehow in our world of Teams calls this seems harder than when you are in the room, but there is really no reason not to call a halt to proceedings and maybe go into virtual breakout sessions to diffuse the situation.
This and similar techniques can all help prevent and manage potentially difficult interactions which actually tend to work to our detriment.
As the Buddha said “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
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