I have been reading a book recommended by my Tai Chi teacher called The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters who amongst other qualifications is a sports psychologist. His essential theme is that our minds have several different characteristics that operate at the same time and drive our behaviour. He refers to the “Psychological Mind” proposing that there are three parts of our brains that can be characterised as the Human, the Chimp and the Computer. The Chimp is a basic emotional part which represents instincts such as survival in the jungle. The Human is you, the rational and logical person. Your Computer is a storage area for information. “The Chimp is an emotional machine that will hijack you, if you allow it to. It is not good or bad: it is a Chimp. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy. This is The Chimp Paradox.” The Chimp aspect is why we sometimes react instinctively and not necessarily in a good way towards others, our colleagues and friends. “By far, the biggest challenge for the individual Human is to live with an animal within that is determined to live by the laws of the jungle and to use extremely powerful drives and instincts to fulfil its own agenda.”
If you want to test this approach, try applying it the next time you are driving. Watch how you react when somebody cuts you up or pulls out in front of you at a junction making you break sharply. What I find is that before I consciously react my “chimp” does this for me. I am hooting the horn and waving 2 fingers at the culprit who has “invaded” my space without much conscious thought. None of this (except perhaps reacting by breaking) achieves anything except satisfying my chimp. I try now to anticipate how I will react and “manage” my chimp brain by pre-programming it to understand as a human that such situations are sadly fairly normal on our roads and it is not a personal affront. It does work but it is not easy.
This for me is something I wish I had known more about before in professional legal activities like negotiating contracts and more generally in the interactions of day-to-day professional life. It explains an awful lot about our behaviour patterns and the things which drive us, some of which we cannot necessarily control though we can understand and manage. I recall negotiations where the lawyers on the other side were unnecessarily obstructive or aggressive to the point where they damaged not just the relationship with our side, but also the interests of their own clients. The chances of a contract being agreed which led to the successful delivery of information technology services were not in any way enhanced by this behaviour which led inevitably to an antagonistic atmosphere which it was very easy to emulate. I thought at the time this was just how they were trained to behave, what their law firm or client expected, or sheer bloody mindedness. Now I suspect their “chimp” emotional side was out of the control of their rational “human” and simply behaving badly. Why – maybe they felt threatened or out of their depth and went into some kind of survival or attack mode.
The theme of the Chimp Paradox is understanding and managing these instinctive emotional reactions. You cannot ignore your Chimp as it is a very powerful aspect of your mental construct and responsible for basic survival instincts. But you can manage and control its input and turn this into a positive trait. As Professor Peters advises “Think of ways to appropriately deal with negative emotions rather than engaging with them.” Using his mental model “Ask the question “Do I want these feelings”. Then exercise the chimp (if necessary) then box it in.” See this BBC interview with the professor How to manage your inner chimp which explains his model succinctly with some advice on how to manage your chimp including interestingly smiling to show the chimp who is boss – “There are some simple habits we can develop which actively help us to control our emotions and keep the chimp in check. One of these is smiling. We know that “our facial expressions are intricately linked to our mood state,” says Steve. If we’re happy we grin.”
AI suggests that “Hidden emotions in negotiations are unexpressed feelings—such as fear, anxiety, anger, pride, or a desire to be liked—that subconsciously influence decisions and behavior, often diverging from the logical, rational, "cold" negotiation stereotype.” Other sources develop this theme. See this short but to the point Harvard Law School blog Emotional Triggers: How Emotions Affect Your Negotiating Ability which observes that “What’s become increasingly clear, however, is that incidental emotions—feelings unrelated to the negotiation—can also significantly influence bargaining behavior and outcomes.” Its practical takeaway is “Emotional triggers don’t stay outside the conference room door. They follow us in—often unnoticed—and quietly shape our choices. By learning to recognize and label incidental emotions in ourselves and others, negotiators can reduce their disruptive effects and keep discussions focused on substance rather than mood.”
See also this article How to Stay Calm & Control Emotions in Negotiation which observes that “Negotiation is as much an emotional experience as it is a rational one. High stakes, pressure, and opposing interests can trigger stress and strong emotions that undermine clear decision-making. Learning how to stay emotionally composed during difficult negotiations allows professionals to maintain perspective, read subtle signals from others, and turn emotions into a strategic advantage rather than a liability.” Echoing the “chimp” theme it says “Negotiation can trigger powerful psychological responses because it touches on survival instincts, fairness, and status. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline prepare the body for fight or flight, which can make it harder to think clearly.”
Understanding this also enables us to use emotions as a tool in a negotiation – by knowing what is happening in the minds of the other side and not over-reacting, but rather finding ways to turn it to your advantage. At the very least this can avoid engaging in mutually destructive behaviour in response which can wreck the atmosphere and possibly the negotiation in its entirety.
As Buddha observed “The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
While the US sports agent Mark McCormack once said “Anger can be an effective negotiating tool, but only as a calculated act, never as a reaction.”
Ultimately, we are much more in our professional lives than just instinctive creatures. “Chimps like to survive; humans like to have a purpose.” A last word from Professor Steve Peters.
If you want to test this approach, try applying it the next time you are driving. Watch how you react when somebody cuts you up or pulls out in front of you at a junction making you break sharply. What I find is that before I consciously react my “chimp” does this for me. I am hooting the horn and waving 2 fingers at the culprit who has “invaded” my space without much conscious thought. None of this (except perhaps reacting by breaking) achieves anything except satisfying my chimp. I try now to anticipate how I will react and “manage” my chimp brain by pre-programming it to understand as a human that such situations are sadly fairly normal on our roads and it is not a personal affront. It does work but it is not easy.
This for me is something I wish I had known more about before in professional legal activities like negotiating contracts and more generally in the interactions of day-to-day professional life. It explains an awful lot about our behaviour patterns and the things which drive us, some of which we cannot necessarily control though we can understand and manage. I recall negotiations where the lawyers on the other side were unnecessarily obstructive or aggressive to the point where they damaged not just the relationship with our side, but also the interests of their own clients. The chances of a contract being agreed which led to the successful delivery of information technology services were not in any way enhanced by this behaviour which led inevitably to an antagonistic atmosphere which it was very easy to emulate. I thought at the time this was just how they were trained to behave, what their law firm or client expected, or sheer bloody mindedness. Now I suspect their “chimp” emotional side was out of the control of their rational “human” and simply behaving badly. Why – maybe they felt threatened or out of their depth and went into some kind of survival or attack mode.
The theme of the Chimp Paradox is understanding and managing these instinctive emotional reactions. You cannot ignore your Chimp as it is a very powerful aspect of your mental construct and responsible for basic survival instincts. But you can manage and control its input and turn this into a positive trait. As Professor Peters advises “Think of ways to appropriately deal with negative emotions rather than engaging with them.” Using his mental model “Ask the question “Do I want these feelings”. Then exercise the chimp (if necessary) then box it in.” See this BBC interview with the professor How to manage your inner chimp which explains his model succinctly with some advice on how to manage your chimp including interestingly smiling to show the chimp who is boss – “There are some simple habits we can develop which actively help us to control our emotions and keep the chimp in check. One of these is smiling. We know that “our facial expressions are intricately linked to our mood state,” says Steve. If we’re happy we grin.”
AI suggests that “Hidden emotions in negotiations are unexpressed feelings—such as fear, anxiety, anger, pride, or a desire to be liked—that subconsciously influence decisions and behavior, often diverging from the logical, rational, "cold" negotiation stereotype.” Other sources develop this theme. See this short but to the point Harvard Law School blog Emotional Triggers: How Emotions Affect Your Negotiating Ability which observes that “What’s become increasingly clear, however, is that incidental emotions—feelings unrelated to the negotiation—can also significantly influence bargaining behavior and outcomes.” Its practical takeaway is “Emotional triggers don’t stay outside the conference room door. They follow us in—often unnoticed—and quietly shape our choices. By learning to recognize and label incidental emotions in ourselves and others, negotiators can reduce their disruptive effects and keep discussions focused on substance rather than mood.”
See also this article How to Stay Calm & Control Emotions in Negotiation which observes that “Negotiation is as much an emotional experience as it is a rational one. High stakes, pressure, and opposing interests can trigger stress and strong emotions that undermine clear decision-making. Learning how to stay emotionally composed during difficult negotiations allows professionals to maintain perspective, read subtle signals from others, and turn emotions into a strategic advantage rather than a liability.” Echoing the “chimp” theme it says “Negotiation can trigger powerful psychological responses because it touches on survival instincts, fairness, and status. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline prepare the body for fight or flight, which can make it harder to think clearly.”
Understanding this also enables us to use emotions as a tool in a negotiation – by knowing what is happening in the minds of the other side and not over-reacting, but rather finding ways to turn it to your advantage. At the very least this can avoid engaging in mutually destructive behaviour in response which can wreck the atmosphere and possibly the negotiation in its entirety.
As Buddha observed “The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
While the US sports agent Mark McCormack once said “Anger can be an effective negotiating tool, but only as a calculated act, never as a reaction.”
Ultimately, we are much more in our professional lives than just instinctive creatures. “Chimps like to survive; humans like to have a purpose.” A last word from Professor Steve Peters.
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