In life and in work it’s very easy to be affected by events that you cannot influence. The unexpected senior management intervention in a negotiation that undermines a carefully planned tactical approach. A policy shift at a parent company level that alters a local company’s business plan and future operations. An unexpected resignation from a key colleague at a law firm right on the middle of a transaction they are running. These are things that can all happen to any of us in our professional life despite our best personal efforts.
I found this apposite definition – “Event Beyond Your Control means an unusual and unforeseeable circumstance outside your control and the consequences of which you could not have avoided (even if you had taken all due care).” However, it is not the fact that these events happen – because they inevitably will – it is how best to react and deal with the situation that then arises.
See this on message blog 8 Keys to Accepting Things that Are Out of Your Control which proposes “focus on the events we can control” and advises “If we can’t change a situation or an outcome our best option is to learn how to accept it and deal with it.” It advocates acceptance and coping skills. “Sometimes these events are beyond our current ability to cope. So, part of the acceptance process is learning new ways to cope with a crisis. Keep your emotions in check so you can make a more conscious decision about how to deal with a difficult situation.”
While this blog How to let go of control and free up some headspace observes that “Letting go of control is hard. In times of uncertainty, people feel safer when they have a sense of control.” Whereas the opposite is true: “To experience the greatest sense of calm, peace of mind, and agency over one’s destiny, there is a shift needed in this thinking. The shift is toward a mindset that focuses on self-efficacy rather than on controlling external factors.” Then “Once you realize you cannot control external events, your energies can be placed elsewhere. You can focus on the only thing you do have control over your responses, your mindset, your attitude, your outlook.”
And unexpected events beyond our control have a tendency to occur just when we really do not need or expect them to. When I was in private practice, I was leading the closing of one of the most complex high value outsourcing arrangements I have been involved with. The customer was a major public sector organisation and the “supplier” who we acted for was actually a joint venture consortium which had formed a corporate vehicle to contract with the customer. This would in turn subcontract the work to the member companies – all significant businesses in their own right. We had carried out all the work negotiating the contracts and establishing the consortium and were camped out for several days in a central London hotel to bring the transaction to a conclusion.
I was sitting in a meeting room at the hotel with all the supplier parties and their (many) lawyers when the customer lawyer came and told us that they were really sorry but after all the hard effort and weeks of working there was a potential public procurement problem that meant the deal might not proceed. There was a shocked silence around the room followed by everybody trying to speak at once. Then an experienced corporate partner in my firm who had been advising on the joint venture took control of the meeting and brought us back to a sense of reality and a focus on what we could actually do in these unexpected circumstances. First, we considered whether we would have grounds to contest any such decision and started determining what documentation we might require should we decide to litigate. At the same time we engaged our own public procurement legal experts to examine the legal question posed by the customer. A sense of normality very quickly took over as we got back to work. In the end the customer was able to overcome the challenges and we completed.
This Harvard Business Review article To Control Your Life, Control What You Pay Attention To summarises this approach of focusing on what you can nicely “Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Rather than allowing distractions to derail you, choose where you direct your attention at any given moment, based on an understanding of your priorities.” It points out that this is not a recent problem, although it may be exacerbated by our “frenzied work environment” and all the technology we now use:
“One of the best insights on what true productivity means in the 21st century dates back to 1890. In his book The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1, William James wrote a simple statement that’s packed with meaning: “My experience is what I agree to attend to.”
Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Or said another way: you must control your attention to control your life.”
Another analogy I learned (sometimes the hard way by capsizing!) is that if you are sailing a boat, even a large 45 foot yacht, and the wind increases dramatically you cannot make it reduce in force – it is a natural phenomenon. But what you can do is to react to this changed circumstance and reef which means to reduce the sail area. This is something that whilst you cannot control you can be proactive about and mitigate the impact.
To quote from the Golden Sayings of Epictetus, the ancient Greek philosopher, “all external events are determined by fate, and are thus beyond our control, but we can accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. Individuals, however, are responsible for their own actions which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline.”
While Benjamin Disraeli observed “Circumstances are beyond our human control, but our conduct is in our own power”.
Coming back into the Twenty First Century the author Brain Tracy pithily commented “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
I found this apposite definition – “Event Beyond Your Control means an unusual and unforeseeable circumstance outside your control and the consequences of which you could not have avoided (even if you had taken all due care).” However, it is not the fact that these events happen – because they inevitably will – it is how best to react and deal with the situation that then arises.
See this on message blog 8 Keys to Accepting Things that Are Out of Your Control which proposes “focus on the events we can control” and advises “If we can’t change a situation or an outcome our best option is to learn how to accept it and deal with it.” It advocates acceptance and coping skills. “Sometimes these events are beyond our current ability to cope. So, part of the acceptance process is learning new ways to cope with a crisis. Keep your emotions in check so you can make a more conscious decision about how to deal with a difficult situation.”
While this blog How to let go of control and free up some headspace observes that “Letting go of control is hard. In times of uncertainty, people feel safer when they have a sense of control.” Whereas the opposite is true: “To experience the greatest sense of calm, peace of mind, and agency over one’s destiny, there is a shift needed in this thinking. The shift is toward a mindset that focuses on self-efficacy rather than on controlling external factors.” Then “Once you realize you cannot control external events, your energies can be placed elsewhere. You can focus on the only thing you do have control over your responses, your mindset, your attitude, your outlook.”
And unexpected events beyond our control have a tendency to occur just when we really do not need or expect them to. When I was in private practice, I was leading the closing of one of the most complex high value outsourcing arrangements I have been involved with. The customer was a major public sector organisation and the “supplier” who we acted for was actually a joint venture consortium which had formed a corporate vehicle to contract with the customer. This would in turn subcontract the work to the member companies – all significant businesses in their own right. We had carried out all the work negotiating the contracts and establishing the consortium and were camped out for several days in a central London hotel to bring the transaction to a conclusion.
I was sitting in a meeting room at the hotel with all the supplier parties and their (many) lawyers when the customer lawyer came and told us that they were really sorry but after all the hard effort and weeks of working there was a potential public procurement problem that meant the deal might not proceed. There was a shocked silence around the room followed by everybody trying to speak at once. Then an experienced corporate partner in my firm who had been advising on the joint venture took control of the meeting and brought us back to a sense of reality and a focus on what we could actually do in these unexpected circumstances. First, we considered whether we would have grounds to contest any such decision and started determining what documentation we might require should we decide to litigate. At the same time we engaged our own public procurement legal experts to examine the legal question posed by the customer. A sense of normality very quickly took over as we got back to work. In the end the customer was able to overcome the challenges and we completed.
This Harvard Business Review article To Control Your Life, Control What You Pay Attention To summarises this approach of focusing on what you can nicely “Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Rather than allowing distractions to derail you, choose where you direct your attention at any given moment, based on an understanding of your priorities.” It points out that this is not a recent problem, although it may be exacerbated by our “frenzied work environment” and all the technology we now use:
“One of the best insights on what true productivity means in the 21st century dates back to 1890. In his book The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1, William James wrote a simple statement that’s packed with meaning: “My experience is what I agree to attend to.”
Your attention determines the experiences you have, and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Or said another way: you must control your attention to control your life.”
Another analogy I learned (sometimes the hard way by capsizing!) is that if you are sailing a boat, even a large 45 foot yacht, and the wind increases dramatically you cannot make it reduce in force – it is a natural phenomenon. But what you can do is to react to this changed circumstance and reef which means to reduce the sail area. This is something that whilst you cannot control you can be proactive about and mitigate the impact.
To quote from the Golden Sayings of Epictetus, the ancient Greek philosopher, “all external events are determined by fate, and are thus beyond our control, but we can accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. Individuals, however, are responsible for their own actions which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline.”
While Benjamin Disraeli observed “Circumstances are beyond our human control, but our conduct is in our own power”.
Coming back into the Twenty First Century the author Brain Tracy pithily commented “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
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